Here I Am!

Wow I haven't written on this blog in a while!  But it has my name and I will keep it and I will continue writing as I grow.  I am on a mission right now to earn an income blogging and writing so that I can move from working outside the home to back home again where I dream to be soon and very soon.  And God is working to make that happen as He gives me the courage to put one foot in front of the other as I follow Him on this path.  Love it!

More later...

Journaling it All

It's been a while since I've written.  I have had a favorite thing I have been doing lately that I wanted to write about a little.  I have been in a busy season of life with children getting older and work and family life and it seems I have been looking for ways to connect with God and refresh and renew my mind.  I love journaling and have a journal I used to write in daily but now it's more like a few times a week or every other week.

So what I started lately is grabbing my laptop when I get in bed each evening, opening Google Drive and I created a journal that I use when I don't have my paper journal.  Writing down thoughts and prayers and emotions and Scripture is so a thing for me.

I write out all that's on my mind, I call it my brain dump.  I type it all out and pray and share all I am thinking, all I've learned that day, things bothering me, etc.  Then I pray and ask God to show me any Truths that I need to hear from what I've written.  This has been a little treat I have done lately that is really helping me have more peace and clarity and I would just say journaling is something that everyone should try if they haven't.

More later...

Walking it Out with Intuitive Eating

Happy Saturday!!!

It has been a while since I have written about my journey to be FREE from any hold on food or body image.  I am determined to not have any hold on me.  Any time I start to head down a path where some food or some program has a hold on me, I stop and don't go further.  It means a slow journey for me to be at my natural weight, but it also means freedom and I think that is the way I am going to get there.

My goal is to eat when I'm hungry and stop when satisfied and have had just enough, and then go on with my life.  I don't want food or body image to tie me down and occupy too much space, like it always has, in my mind and life.  I also believe God wants this for me as well.  Though He may be saying, Kim be patient you can't expect this to happen overnight, I am saying this is taking so long what am I doing wrong?!

So here I am.  Several years later.  I have maintained the same weight I have been at for 3 years, have not gained and actually even lost 15 pounds back in August and have maintained that weight loss as well.  I now want to be fit too and am feeling like I am wanting to be in shape because I need that energy.  Though I know in the past God has shown me that I don't need to put the wrong emphasis on exercise, slowly I will get there to where I can be fit, but not ruled by exercise either.  It's a balance and I want that balance to be so sweet.

Some of the things that I have really been learning lately:

• Renewing your mind is so important.  I have used Barb Raveling's resources a lot in this and she even just had a new book come out.  Click here to see her site and all the great resources.  Romans 12:2 is where this comes from in the Bible.  Go check it out.
• Keeping God first.  This really is something I am being reminded of in just the last few days or the last week.  When I do anything other than trying to seek God with all my heart, then I get stuck.  So clinging to God alone, first, and then all else is added-including weight loss, joy, peace and not chaos and confusion, the steps to take in each day in every situation, etc.  Matthew 6:33 is where this comes from too.  Read for yourself and see what you get from that.
• Take it one moment at a time, one day at a time.  I can't think I want to understand it all and fix it all and think I am going to get anywhere.  It really is a step by step journey relying solely on the Holy Spirit.  This book is something that is a great read about this, Just Enough Light for the Step I'm on-Stormie Omartian.

More later...

OH and p.s..........one day I WILL be brave enough to share pictures of me and my journey, I'm a work in progress and can't wait for God to show off all He is doing in my heart, body and life!

Jesus Alone

Cutting potatoes tonight getting ready to make some yummy mashed potatoes I had these subtle thoughts going through my mind.  You know how in all the letters to the churches there is a reason they are writing the letter?  And some of them are because the Christians had started listening to false teaching.  They were listening and going ways God didn't mean for them to go.  I've done that before.

I felt like God wants me to write about the Gospel Truth, the simple Gospel Truth that is Jesus.  The Way, the Truth and the Life.  Just Jesus.  Nothing added to Him at all.

More later...

Am I Ditching the Snooze Button?!

I can't believe it is already February now!  2015 is off to a start now, and it's exciting.  I've been working on something lately that has been a struggle for me, well...since I was a kid.  See I have this thing with the snooze button.  I don't know why I think hitting it every 8 minutes or so for over an hour is any help to me at ALL!  LOL!

Enter a few years ago, Kat with Inspired to Action that started the Hello Mornings Challenge and I signed up.  I have off and on been in a Hello Mornings Challenge group for over 2 years.  It has definitely changed me and challenged me.  So now the challenge is ditching the snooze button.

I read this article last week and it really hit me like I need to seriously try this.  I've tried ditching it before with no luck.  But this time for some reason felt different.  So I did it.  Well wait, first let me share the article and the tip that stuck to me.  It was this article and then tip #9 that was for me.  It was time to see if this could really happen.  Ditching the snooze never to go back...that's the idea.

So this was the quote that was talking straight to me from this blog post at the Hello Mornings Challenge blog:

"To be sure I am clear here, when I say ditch the snooze, I mean it.

No more snoozing. Disable it! 

When that alarm goes off you need to make the decision to get up, or not.

If you feel you are truly exhausted and need the extra sleep, set your alarm for a half hour later, or however long you need to sleep. No use interrupting that extra needed sleep every 9 minutes with the snooze alarm." 

It was right then and there that I picked up my iPhone and disabled the snooze.  I set it for the time I want to get up...5:30am...and then I sent another alarm for the time I HAD to get up...6:30am.  So for the last week I have done this.  I feel very much well rested from not hitting snooze every 8 minutes for an hour, that alone seems to be something that would make anyone just plain exhausted!  I have only gotten up at the first alarm maybe once, but that is HUGE to me.

So now that is the goal.  To eventually make that 2 days a week for a while and then 3 to where eventually it's a 5:30am routine and I enjoy it.  I am excited for this new little revelation in my mornings and am looking forward to seeing this progress.  Stay tuned...

More later...

My One Word 2015

Happy New Year!  Last year I wrote a blog post sharing what my one word was for 2014, and you can read that here if you would like.  I thought about this word off and on throughout 2014.  I am not sure I did much to make it happen, and I hesitated on whether I would have a one word for 2015.  I really thought when the New Year rang in that I was not going to have one.

Then I saw someone talking about it yesterday and immediately the word popped in my head that is going to be my "one word" for 2015.  

Joy.

Then the song below comes to my heart just now and I just want to sing!  I want JOY in me and my heart and in my family and their hearts more and more every day!  Here's to a joyful 2015!

Too cute!! 

More later...

Afraid to Step Out

Have you ever felt the nudge or the prompting to do something, but instead of stepping out and doing what it is you feel led to do, you stop and in fear you are paralyzed?  You can't move forward a step because all of the what if's?

What if I fail?
What if I don't do it right?
What if I don't know what to do and get confused?
What will it look like living each day if I do that and take that step?
What if I lose things I don't want to lose when taking that step?

The questions and what if's go on and on.  I find myself in that situation it seems lately.  The thing that I am wondering though is what am I missing out on while I am scared stiffless??????  How much am I going to regret the wasted time I spent sitting here paralyzed instead of just stepping out in obedience.

So I take the step.  I write the first blog post in months.  Where will this lead?  How will I know exactly what to do to do it all right?  I don't know.  But I know I don't want to stand still any longer.  Jesus take the wheel.

More later...

I'm Still Here

It's been a long time since I posted here.  It has been a crazy few years and a lot feels like a blur.  Mostly I am thinking it feels like a blur is because I've been trying to rush by it all.  I keep getting the thoughts to hurry up and do this and get it done and then hurry up and do that and get it done.  Then when all is done I can relax.

See that isn't how it works and I am learning this.  I have been a hurry up kind of girl all my life.  But God is starting to reteach me (again because He has shown me this before) to slow down.  To enjoy moments, to enjoy the day, to obey His Holy Spirit throughout each day.  That is how to live, not rushing here and there and hurry up this and hurry up that.

I do wonder how much I have missed along the way by rushing through life.  It creates fear too, and worry, which does NO good at all.

So I am now reminded of my one word for 2014, and I still have a month and a half to be refreshed by this...

UNWIND.

That is my one word.  He told me to unwind.  It's like I have wound myself up so much like a wind up toy and I need to now unravel it all and REST.  Sit.  Relax in Him.  Let Him work.  Stop hurrying.

Do you need to stop hurrying to finish out 2014?  Would you join me in unwinding and relaxing in Him?  What is He teaching you lately?

My Other Blog

So this is my blog that is my heart and home and I would love to continue here and think I will.  I have also started another blog here that you can visit me at.  I am teaching myself blogging and seeing where I fit best.  I love it here and love the design that Liz did for me here and I don't think I want to leave it.  It's so personable and prayed over :)

More later...

Kim

Miss My Blogger

So hey there it's been a while since I've written.  I have missed it here lots.  I had read and heard so many things when reading about blogging about using Wordpress to make things better.  That if you want to have a great blog that's the place to be.   So I went that route and started a wordpress blog and I'm just finding myself stuck.  I am finding myself thinking I have to figure out how it works before I can share my heart and write like crazy.  Crazy right?

So here I am.  My home blog where my blogging journey started and I love blogger.  If you want to see where I started my other blog you can check it out by clicking here. 

So what have I been up to?  I have been up to lots of stuff.  One thing is that I am working out my one word for 2014 and that is Unwind.  I am wanting to unwind as God has shown me and let go of control and unwind and relax and not be so uptight.  But relax in Him and learn how to walk by the Holy Spirit who lives in me even better.

As far as eating goes.  I have maintained my size and weight, but am at my highest weight ever while not being pregnant (which is crazy!).  I have started a Bible study through Thin Within workbook 2 and am going to go through that with some friends online.  I am also reading here and there my favorite, Truly Fed, book. 

I celebrated 2 years gluten free in March.  I can't believe it's been that long.  I have learned so much and have more I can share about that in days to come.  It has been an interesting journey.

Have a wonderful rest of your weekend!!

More later...

My One Word 2014.



My Favorite Gluten Free Cupcake

I got this for my last birthday from Oh Snap! Cupcakes and it is sooo good!  Wanted to share a picture. It is gluten free, cream cheese icing with chocolate chips.  Delish!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stopping When Full

Here we are about to go into a new year, 2014.  There will be a Thin Within online Bible study starting in January that I am a part of and I am excited and nervous.  You see, God has called me to listen to Him in how I care for my body, and only for my good, but I am such a stubborn resister.  I do not like this about me, but it's true.  So I keep telling God help me, I am willing, but I don't want to and need you to help me. 

I seem to be fine with staying occupied most of the time and not over focusing on food and waiting for hunger, as He is setting me free in this area.  But...when it comes time and I feel that nudge when I start to eat and it says--that's it, you are satisfied, your body does not need any more food.....that is when I dig in my feet and drown out the still small voice. 

Stop when you are satisfied.
I used to say, I would rather throw away food in the trash than throw it away in my body.
It has been recently I am seeing again how I use food to ground me and keep my from feeling chaos.
Chaos of life.
I need to stop when satisfied. 
I need to slow down.
I need Jesus' help.
I need to make the choice that I am willing.
Sit back and rest in Him.

More later...

Walking it Out-November 2013

I am walking it out, this Thin Within journey.  This intuitive eating journey.  It is so much easier said than done, that is for sure.  As many times as I walk away thinking I will forget it or just ignore it because it is too hard, I always end up back here.  One thing is for sure though, I definitely do not go back to the dieting phase.  I think that bridge is burned.  Wow, can you say freedom?  The thing is though, when I am not allowing myself to listen to my body for its hunger cues, I am not doing anything.  I don't go back to dieting mentality as much, I just eat what I want when I want, with no boundaries or any regards to what my body is saying.  I kind of just listen to my mind, my flesh, and this is dangerous to my Spiritual life as well as my physical life (health). 

I am getting back up though.  I took a few years of what I thought was totally ignoring it, but really it wasn't ignoring it.  I am seeing how I was doing groundwork.  I have been laying some foundation that will be forever firm.  It may not have gone the way that I wanted it to, but it surely is working.  God does not work in the ways that our human minds do.  I can have one thing in mind of how my eating and weight and body image is going to work out, and it ends up being worked out so differently. 

For instance, I can think, I will just eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full, then I will be forever free.  But God says, no really you have some heart work to deal with and you may actually gain some weight before losing it, but it will be permanent loss this time.  You need to deal with your stinky attitude, you need to deal with some patience issues that are tripping you up, and you definitely need to work out this controlling issue that you have going on because if I am not God in your life Kim, you are, and that is just not my best for you.

So there you have it in my walking it out journey.  I continue on it.  I have maintained my weight for several months and do not obsess about my weight.  But when I do get on the scale it can tend to mess with my emotions for a few days and it shows in my eating.  I feel that I am about to turn into a new direction where weight release is going to start happening again.  I have recently started studying the next workbook from Thin Within that I have not gone through yet, it is found here in all these awesome tools that my eyes are being opened to again after a couple of years of not being involved with Thin Within (only because I was turning it into a diet).  But God has done a work in me and continues and I am thankful for that on this Thanksgiving week.

More later...be blessed!

Do You Know the Feeling?

That of feeling the need to explain everything to everyone?  DO you know what that feels like?  It's like sometimes if I don't explain everything to everyone then I need to keep trying.  I can't keep living and enjoying my life if all people around me do not understand everything I am thinking and doing and understand why I am doing it.  Craziness.

People pleasing?  Yes.  I struggle with that.  Sometimes I find myself so stuck because of this.  I will keep asking myself, "what in the world is wrong with me?"  It is because I will say I can't move on until I figure this out or that out.

I can't believe it is taking this long for me to learn this.  But it is and that is okay.  I will continue pressing on and remembering that I only need to live for an audience of one, and the only person that I need to focus on pleasing is Jesus.  Then everything else will fall into place.

More later.....

Working at Home and My Passion

I am feeling so drawn to writing and blogging but have all of these questions.  I pray I get the right answers or understand them as God wants me to.

I want my families support and feel I won't know how to explain these feelings to them.

I am so craving pouring into my family.  Not working full time outside the home.  Is that bad to share?  It is my honest thoughts though I know right now the last year and a half I am in a full time outside the home working position.  It is where God has me in the moment, but I can't help but feel that I know I can and should be working out of my home. Maybe it's not writing, but it is something I believe.

I am craving being home with my family.  Getting them up and enjoying mornings with them before school.  Spending a day in cozy clothes, with my computer, and my keyboard and typing away.  Sharing my heart.  Going where God leads me in the writing and working at home scene. 

Pray for me if you read this, that God will be all over it and guide the way.  And that I will take the steps as He leads and have the courage to, because honestly I feel like perhaps I have missed steps He told me to take because I was afraid and not trusting or having enough faith.  Lord please help me see clearly your will and have the courage to step out when you say and I pray I will have the confirmation with my support of my family at home behind me.  I also pray Lord that I will not be lazy, and I will continue to get better and better at working for you in all I do every day, no matter where I am.  Help me to see when I become idle for the wrong reasons and to get refocused on what you want me focused on.  I pray that you will keep changing my heart.  You are the redeemer and I am so thankful.  I can't change myself, I have tried and keep trying.  Help me fall into you and let you lead it all.  That is the cry of my heart.  Thank you for listening.  In Jesus Name, Amen

I need Jesus.  I need clarity.  I am asking for it. 

James 4:2-3 says, "You desire but you do not have, so you kill.  You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.  You do not have because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."

Let my prayer be asking you God.  Let it not be my own pleasure, but yours.  Let my will be yours.  Let my desires line up with yours.  That is my prayer.  In Jesus Name, Amen

More later...
 

Menu Plan Monday-Limited Cooking!

 

 

Good day to you!! Joining Organizing Junkie in some delish Menu Plan Monday fun!

 

I love cooking.  But working full time the last year and a half I have gotten so weary in it.  That makes me sad.  I decided I was going to try and cook 3-4 meals on Sunday afternoon/evening so that the family could have meals to heat up throughout the week and two things would happen.

 

1-They don't have to wait for me to get home at 6pm to eat.  They can just heat up dinner when they get hungry.

 

and...

 

2-I don't have to make dinner when I get home at 6pm.  I can heat up something if I am hungry.  And if I am not, I can just relax and enjoy family time and our fun evenings.

 

So this is what I did for this week...

 

• Apple Bourbon pork tenderloin-Hormel brand (I get these at Wal-Mart-they are gluten free and already seasoned)
• Sweet Italian sausage sauteed with onions-then eat over rice.  We have a rice cooker that always has Jasmine rice in it.
• Taco meat.  Cook this up and then they can heat the meat up and get out shredded cheese and lettuce and use the soft shell burrito shells I get to make their own soft tacos.
• Frozen pizza-this is an easy fix and some of the kids like this for dinner.  If not, they can have cereal or they can make a sandwich or a bowl of rice and soy sauce.
• Breakfast for dinner.  Usually can fix up some eggs, waffles, cereal and fruit and this is a quick dinner.  Though for this I do have to fix up something.
• Then there is the fend for yourselves night where we just eat what we want when we want it and nobody really cooks a meal.
  

Budgeting

What I've learned about budgeting.

• Zero-based budget
• Do what works best for you-not how you see others doing it
• Financial coach
• No such thing as perfect budget-new budget end of month every month for the following month, spend next months money before the month begins
• Budget meeting with spouse once a week or once a month-if possible, if not, press on and do your best.
• Goals. Have them.  Big or small.  Dream.
• Never stop learning.
• Be a student of budgeting.  Forever. 

What are some tips that you have learned?  I am SUCH a learner and love learning more and more so I can't get enough tips :)

More later...

To Blog or Not to Blog?

That is the question.  Does anyone know what it is like to go back and forth with whether or not you are supposed to have a blog or not?  I want to blog.  I love it.  I enjoy writing.  I feel perhaps maybe it is because some of my priorities may be out of line?  I'm not sure.  I also think I may believe some lies about writing and blogging in regards to me my heart and my life.

So that is why I haven't written in a while and I even made my blog personal so it wasn't open to the public.  So as I stumble forwards in this writing blogging journey, I still pray God's will and pray I can be authentic and know what He wants me to do. :)

More later...

Walking it Out

So I haven't written in a month or more.  Wow.  On the intuitive eating.  See I got a health coach.  Someone to help me in renewing my mind and walking out this intuitive eating.  See I am still struggling.  I don't like it.  At all.  I want to come on here and say I GOT IT!  I figured it all out.  It isn't happening though and I am frustrated. 

I may have a new sweet accountability partner.  I want to turn away though and think I can do this on my own.  But I am starting to see a pattern.  Every time God puts someone in my life or path to help me in this area of my life, I turn my back eventually.  Resisting strongly.

This hurts.  It is hard to admit really.  Because I would like to think that by now after so many years of this struggle I could help people or I could be free--comfortable in my body.

I want to post a new picture of myself.  I probably lost a few pounds, but I am not consistent and I need more work in this area.  I want to press on.  I want to be joyful instead of grouchy, resisting and stuck.  I want to accept the help where God gives it to me.  Reaching out my hand and saying lift me up Lord and help me walk this out....daily.

Thankful for Him and His grace and mercy for me--this control freak who wants to figure it all out and can't and really, who is NOT supposed to be trying to figure it all out.  But who is to be simply listening and obeying the God who loves me so much and wants to care for me.